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My dad and mom advised what they did in their own marriage: each of you at all times think about giving 90% to your partner and also you each shall be very completely happy.” They meant it is so essential to consider how your companion is feeling, to stand thaifriendly of their shoes, to be giving and compromising, and emotionally generous. That 10% is for the understanding that generally it’s also OK to be a bit selfish, to put your needs first, or stand agency on one thing. Additionally they made clear that this solely works in case you are each giving 90%.
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